I read therefore I am

One of the changes in my life is the lack of TV, newspapers, and my radio. So in the last 4 weeks have read 5 books, good going for me, and storing up interesting bits to discuss. However this quote from an english male writer was too good to wait, so if you want to read this :

Where he had once believed, or thought that he ought to believe that men and women were, beyond all the obvious physical differences essentially the same, he now suspected that one of their many distinguishing features was precisely their attitudes to change.

Past a certain age men froze into place, they tended to believe that even in adversity, they were somehow at one with their fates. They were, who they thought they were.

Despite what they said, men believed in what they did, and stuck at it. This was a weakness and a strength.Whether they were scrambling out of trenches to be killed in their thousands, or doing the firing themselves. or putting the final touches to a cycle of symphonies, it only rarely occurred to them, or only occurred to the rare ones among them, that they might just as well be doing something else.

To women this thought was a premise. It was a constant torment or comfort, no matter how successful they were in their own or other people’s eyes. It was also a weakness and a strength. Committed motherhood denied professional fulfillment.A professional life on men.s terms eroded maternal care.Attempting both was to risk annihilation through fatigue. It was not easy to persist, when you could not believe that you were entirely the thing that you did, when you thought you could find yourself, or another part of yourself, expressed through some other endeavor

Consequently they were not taken in so easily by jobs, and hierarchies, uniforms and medals,Against the faith men had in the institutions they, and not women had shaped. women upheld some principles of selfhood in which being, surpassed doing.

Long ago men had noticed something unruly in this. Women simply enclosed a space which men longed to penetrate. The men’s hostility was aroused

Well that was the quote. I wish I could put ideas over so succinctly. I would say that men are defined by the world in terms of what they do, workwise. Perhaps the new generation of working supermums now define themselves by how well they do everything, not feeling that they have the choice to work or not work. Mostly women do not have a choice if they want to pay the mortgage.

I also think that the male work ethic is more strongly adhered to in particular western cultures, British and American, to name two. Recently there was an attempt by a new female french minister, who had spent several years in the USA, to persuade the french to work harder, give up some of their holidays, and work a 37 hour week. The backlash came from men who felt they worked very hard, but  that they also had families whom they wanted to spend more time with, and other hobbies, other goals. Any reactions to any of this?

The challenges of week three

While still in holiday mode, this week has certainly not been the most relaxing, and the realisation that if anything goes wrong, then, although I know people here, they may not be around if I need them, is one to bear in mind.A  spare set of house keys is high on the list now, as the only spare set is with the estate agent.

I digress, on Monday I had the offer of a second hand bike, as a result of advertising in the Companians news sheet. So Monday evening found me in La Nucia , where I had arranged to meet Brenda ( the english therapist who has lived in Spain for 12 years ) Well the car stalled at the top of a steep hill in La Nucia, just as I was about to make a difficult left turn against the traffic. Hazard warning lights on, loud blaring of horns from behind;try again, no joy, oh no! try again, car starts, funny sign of car with spanner accross it lights up. Pull out in direction of the address I have, car seems to be OK. Can’t find address, instructions now incomprehensible. I phone her and eventually we agree to meet in the Lidl car park. Great as I am parked on the other side of the road. I walk up and down in the car park discharging adrenalin all over the place.I give some money to a rumanian woman sat in the doorway, whose card reads that she has 4 children and no money. She says she doesn’t speak spanish either, and whether that is so , her situation is , in the order of things, far worse than mine.

The english couple arrive with bike, it looks ok, needs the saddle raising, but it has good tyres and a shopping basket on the front, 25 euros, and the bike goes in the back of the car; at least I can cycle home if the car breaks down again. My chat with Brenda proved very interesting. She works in a clinic in La Nucia, which does physiotherapy, massage, cranialsacral. and a few others. Brenda does a combination of one to one therapies, although she previously ran similar groups to me.Decide not to  mention my car crisis , and happily it proved to be a hiccup in layman’s tems, and although I drove home in the dark on red alert, it was trouble free.

Tuesday I knew was the day to introduce myself to the Companians as a gentle exercise tutor. This would mean standing up in front of 250 people and persuading some of them that they would like to do exercise. I had a table with a poster set up by the door, and some business cards. It was surprisingly easy, and `13 people signed up for a taster session next Monday. I had spoken to Eva of the hotel staff who is happy to accommodate the group in the large bar, and provide access to the loudspeaker system. I had planned that night to cycle along the promenade to the salsa/jive dance session, but the weather became wet and windy, so I made some ratatouille instead, and paid car tax online. I could not use my laptop in the internet shop. so will have to find another, shop that is!

my apartment

Having met some very interesting people at the Companians ball last Friday, I was invited to go to a meeting of the solo club at the VillaSol camp site on Wednesday. The solo club is mainly a social club, similar I suppose to ones in the ,UK, where people go, not to find a partner, but to share in activities with other men and women. I am determined to give every social outlet a try, as I am only here for 6 months, and so far the flamenco has a very small and specialised clientele!

I would say that driving is my biggest challenge so far. Driving to the villasol involved an easy to miss turning, which I did twice. However, arrived finally to sit outside in the sunshine with a group of 30 or so, who came mainly for a chat, and to catch up on the booking arrangements for various outings, christmas dinner being the next important one.I did hear some rather disturbing accounts of other girls night out ventures into Benidorm,Suffice to say that stripograms would be a trifling embarrassment compared with the entertainment on offer in some nightclubs. I intend tonight to only go for the meal in Albir, and then come home for cocoa! More of that in the next installment